Monday, August 15,2005

I really feel so sick on the bed with the laptop by my side now..It's really so nice to lie on the bed and you can just log in to the internet. But too bad..this laptop is not mine..


Oh well..I'm suppose to be in sch now but i didn't go.

My mum ask me stay at home and later go see doctor.
My body just feel so weak. Guess is the pills i took last night ba.
I didn't like taking those big pills which are so hard to swallow. But still. i think my body is needing them badly. My flu is getting no better and my stomach is chunning so hard since Sat and i keep going toilet..


ARRRRRRRRRRGGGHH!!

I dunno what has got into me.

Suppose to slp early last night but when you called so late at night, i still chatted with you..I think i shouldn't have done that though..
i don't wanna hear some things but yet you said it. Well, I need to sort out my own disorientated life.

Sorry..I know it's tough for you to hear my whine whenever you call..i've thought thru wad you said last night..I don't deny...maybe i'm trying to run away frm reality or just using my studies and friends and sleep to let time move easier and faster..But i guess..i have no other choice too..

Whatever. You know, i had enough! Whatever...Whatever...Whatever.




If star + star = rainbow
Then what is really behind that fading rainbow?


I've just read esben and valen's blog..and i've decided to tell you this dearest val..
Sometimes, you look at a person and you feel that you want to be better friends with him. But you can never be his friend again..

Sometimes, you feel close to a person...But to him the feeling is not even close to mutual.

Sometimes, a message from him brightens up your day, but the next moment you realise that he didnt really mean it cos he forwarded it for the sake of forwarding it.

Sometimes, you just wanna ask him to love you and the love he gives you is all sufficient to make you a happier person..But you know you should not, coz he's not oblige to make you feel love..

Sometimes you wanna say something very very much, but you just cannot because you know that not saying it would leave the situation or person involved in a position much better off.

Sometimes, you want to hide in the room and cry out loud, but when the room door is locked up and you're all ready to cry, you just feel this sickening sensation that sends you hanging in between crying and not crying.

Sometimes you just know that people are better off with others instead of you, and you feel painfully upset about that. but you never want to do anything cos you just feel inferior.

Sometimes, you just want to give him a call and tell him how much you miss him and wanna ask him out..But then again, he may not even want to answer it.

*haix*
Sometimes the pain becomes really unbearable...I know..

BUT you know what, valen?

Didn't you tell me to wait for Love?
We can envy others who have someone to love. But what we have is better because our love comes from up above. I know, all of us can feel emo at times, lonely n need the person we love to be there for us..

The quiet, long and lonely night seems hard to face but still we must have trust in our father, he will lead us through..Yes. He will.. i will entrust my life in his loving care.


~God will make a way when there seems to be no way~ =)