the clock reads 5.53am and i'm awake.

i've been wanting so badly to blog since Sat but i barely had the energy to even sit down.
Had food poisoning since Sat. I puke and had diarrhorea for upteen times and that seriously drains me.

It had been 2days and my, i miss Stephen. Usually through the weekends, i wouldn't msg him nor think abt him cos i knew on Monday i'll still be able to see him but this time, it's different.
Stephen had left for UK..

Last fri, all of us stayed in his hotel. i didn't stay through the night but i managed to stay till 4am before cabbing home. I wasn't in a real good mood on Fri and i knew he could tell. He didn't know the real reason for all but nevertheless, he showed his concern.

Meng's thing makes me feel lost and i couldn't simply tell Stephen that, could i? I was emo and i seek any opportunity to leave the rm. i went to level 4, the swimming pool area to just take a breather and i saw his cousin, mathew, who was out there smoking. When i first met him, he was always teasing me in a sarcastic way but that time on fri, we talked.. Like a friend we did..

I did tell Mathew that i couldn't bring myself to collect the money fr stephen and i didn't want to if my mum wasn't asking it. I told him about how i felt about meng and this mathew is bad. He told stephen after i left!! Not abt the Meng's stuff but on the fees. grrr....

Stephen, being the 1st person i knew who never stop apologising, msg me that night and it kind of make me feel bad..
Before my stomach was churning so badly and i vomited, we never stop msg-ing each other on Sat. seriously, i couldn't bring myself to say goodbye. Even though i knew we met by chance and is only for 3 weeks, people do have feelings, don't they?

This whole thing just reminds me of how zhide always come back and then have to leave. And i hate it to say goodbye. So i make it a point that even if he returns, i'll meet him so little that i won't feel the pinch when he's leaving.

haix.. it's monday and i used to dread going to Conrad to teach but why is it that people always contradict? when you have it, you hate it. When you lose it, you want it..



you called me at the airport to say goodbyyyyeee..
nothing dates so rapidly as yesterday's tomorrow..