Had a trip back to Tjc yesterday. And standing outside the office facing the running track, i was indulged in the solitude whilst contemplating about the 2years i had in the school. i missed the school i once disliked so much. My friends, my tutors and even my vp who showed so much concern to me than i ever deserved. i guess school days are still the sweetest innocent moment of life.

i miss so much things of the past.. my old time friends.
i miss those little, insignificant moments ( i once thought)
And it's those days that i could reminise about.


This week has been incredibly rough to say the least. Studying and teaching loads due to the upcoming exams of my students has become ridiculous alot and juggling all the balls has gotten me to such a point that I want to just let all the balls hit the ground, turn my back and walk away from this whole thing. The bottled feelings of that plus many others, made me constantly be on the verge of tears and i'm feeling so strongly that i'm spiritually lacking and my pillar of strength is no longer there.

These few late nights, i've been hanging out alot with Rain and his friends for supper at various places, and I enjoy the sojourns out with them. Many times, the jokes and talks make me laugh so hard till my sides hurts. And everytime I returned home realising that there was a lightness to my step and to my heart and I was actually happy. And that was the strange thing, it felt like a strange sensation. Have I really been that unhappy that happiness feels like a strange fit? Or have I just been drifting along all alone, not thinking, not feeling just struggling to keep my head above water?
Sleeping helps one to keep minds off things and i guess lately, i'm been doing that to escape from the reality. It's a really strange thing that knowing why and how the brains work as a bio student, yet i'm letting them do what i know isn't right. I simply don't want to wake up.

My exam is just a week away.
I don't know how am i suppose to survive through this but i do really hope i could..



dear father, lead me as i hold on to you. be the strength of my heart and renew me each day with peace, love, patience and wisdom.